How white male managers can help DEI (and avoid awkward moments)

The conversation around DEI efforts in the workplace is missing one crucial element: white men in middle management positions. According to McKinsey Research, women’s representation at executive levels is at the highest it’s ever been. However, progress in the middle is lagging, with a continued underrepresentation of women of color.

While the trend is leaning in a positive direction for women and minorities, the pace to parity is far too slow and there is an overlooked solution for acceleration. 

Male managers, especially white male middle managers, play an important role in advancing DEI initiatives and outcomes. They still control the majority of “moments that matter” in the employee lifecycle (e.g., hiring, pay, promotion) so they need to be believers to be authentic allies for companies to materially move the needle.

But oftentimes, their role in this effort is misunderstood. Seeing headlines about hiring quotas for women and minorities, it is understandable that white men can feel left out of this movement. So, let’s be clear: They are wanted, needed, and valued as we move forward. And they can do this without feeling guilty, shamed, or awkward.

Ask simple questions

One of the biggest hurdles in creating diverse and inclusive cultures is deciphering the origin of unconscious bias. Find ways to slow the process, especially in those key moments of making decisions about people. One solution is to provide a list of simple questions to managers and leaders that will not only help them reevaluate how they are thinking, but will also help identify where those biases are rooted. 

For example, asking questions like “How do you know that?” or “What experience has led you to that belief?” opens so much room to grow and make better decisions not laced with bias.  

Expand your circle

What we read and watch, how we spend our free time, who we socialize with, all contribute to a prism of how we view others. 

For instance, at a recent event Mita Mallick, the author of Reimagine Inclusion, stated “75% of white Americans are self-segregating in their communities, so how can we expect them to be different in the office?” Inclusion doesn’t start at the conference table, it starts in our everyday lives —unless we familiarize ourselves with the unfamiliar, we will have a difficult time understanding others’ points of view. 

Avoid controversial language

One of the best perspectives recently shared with me was using the word “luck” instead of “privilege” when bringing white men into the conversation around allyship. For example, someone may be described as lucky to not have experienced the same barriers as others, versus someone being described as privileged for growing up in a certain situation. 

Avoid language that becomes distracting, and focus on the outcomes. If “diversity” or “inclusion” seem to make leaders defensive, center on the behaviors like curiosity and collaboration that foster inclusion, and naturally bring in diverse perspectives and ultimately lead to better business results.

Advocate for others

As managers and leaders in organizations, white men are at the table during a lot of influential moments. This includes board meetings, manager meetings and sometimes casual exchanges with top leadership. These are the opportunities for them to advocate for others and be upstanders and not bystanders.

Being an advocate doesn’t mean dismantling the system. It’s not about solving, it’s about educating others and themselves. Actions can be small and personal. Like voluntarily highlighting an achievement of a colleague in front of senior leadership, or pushing to include a mentee to be part of a larger initiative. It’s also important that when you hear or see something that impacts the way a person is viewed unfairly, or creates an unwelcoming workplace, to say something. It’s okay to advocate for people like you too, as long as you’re advocating for others as well.

Listen

Sometimes the most powerful tool is sitting back and not doing much at all, but simply to listen. This is the greatest tool to gain awareness.

There may be moments when white men feel like they need to speak out or relate to their female colleagues of color, but all they need to do is let them speak. Soak it in. Learn from their experiences and stories.  

On a personal note, some of my best leaders and mentors have been white men. White men are not the problem. They present an opportunity to drive real change. We want them to take their power and leverage it to advocate for and support others.