4 tips to ask for a recommendation from someone you’ve lost touch with
And when you wrack your brain for whom to turn to, you feel hesitance. You haven’t talked to your former bosses or professors in years. Your old boss didn’t want you to leave her company. You didn’t get an A in your most admired professor’s class, so you’re not sure they remember you. What do you do?
In order to get a great reference, you need to ask for one. Your goal is to make it as easy as possible for your recommender to give you a great recommendation Provide them with all the information they need to present you in the best possible light for your dream job or program. Here’s how to ask for a recommendation that will get you where you want to go.
Start early
Give lead time of a month or more to write a letter of recommendation. Not only this is considerate, but it also allows both of you to plan for other responsibilities that may come up.
Choose your recommenders wisely
Your recommenders should be people who know you well. It’s more important to have your direct supervisor than the CEO, or a professor who graded four of your papers rather than a Nobel Prize winner who lectured at your school. The reference is about you—not about how impressive your recommender is.
Think about your strengths
Think about the one to three main points about yourself that you want your references to bring up. If you have multiple recommenders, think about your different strengths each can convey. For example, if you are applying to graduate school after having worked for a while, you may want to have one recommendation letter from a former professor who can focus on your academic aptitude, and another from your boss who can speak about your ability to work in teams.
Reach out (and give a reminder of who you are)
Reach out to the recommender by their preferred method. For most professionals, this means phone or email. And don’t forget to include reminder of who you are. If you’re choosing to correspond by email, include in your message important context your recommender will need. Here are a few suggestions of what to include.
What to do when you get a ‘yes’
If the recommender agrees to give you a reference—congratulations! Now it’s time to send some more important information and to bring the recommendation home:
If possible, meet with your recommender to discuss the reference. Ask them what other information they need. You also can ask them for advice on your future plans, making sure to graciously thank them for their insights afterwards.
This is also an opportunity to address any mistakes you’ve made in your work with your recommender. Let them know how you’ve learned from mistakes and corrected them. If your recommender had a role in helping you improve, thank them for doing so. If you want the recommender to address and questionable areas or gaps in your résumé, discuss that, too.
Finally, make sure you let your recommender know the outcome of your job or application process. Along with following up on your recommendation, keep in touch after the process is over. You never know when you’ll need another reference (This may be a good opportunity to put them on your holiday card list).
The secret about successfully navigating references, keep in mind most people want to help you. Unless you’ve shown consistently poor work habits or done something unmentionable on the job or in the classroom, your recommender will want to write you the best reference they can. Your job is to put them in the best position to do so.
Dr. Jill Goldenziel teaches law, leadership, and security studies at Marine Corps University-Command and Staff College. Jill is also a public speaker and consultant.
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