may lady Colin Campbell win i am a celebrity?
lady C’s unconcerned attitude when eating “Spaghetti Bollocknaise” proves she’s the toughest thing in the jungle
17 Nov 2015
each so continuously, an not likely tv celebrity is born. recall to mind Barbara Woodhouse, the delightfully barking dog trainer, and Sister Wendy, the artwork historic nun. To their illustrious ranks, we must now add the name of girl Colin Campbell.
woman C, as she has asked to be identified, is the first aristocrat to participate in I’m a celeb… Get Me Out of right here since ex-prisoner Lord Brocket braved the jungle.
certainly, the producers hoped woman C would fall flat on her snooty snout. both workforce leaders seen the 66-year-previous royal biographer as a dotty liability. Viewers looked as if it would agree. They voted to subject her to the primary Bushtucker Trial, by which she was required to devour Spaghetti Bollocknaise.
woman Colin Campbell was voted to devour ‘Spaghetti Bollocknaise’ via viewers.
“What are bollocks?” inquired woman C pleasantly.
Titter ye now not, the woman isn’t any fool. “Ay estimated this,” she seen in her curious Jamaica meets Jermyn street accent. “Ay was once being roped in to be spawt for the all right.”
If the okay idea they might chortle at the posh old bint choking on a turkey testicle, they have been in for a shock. lady C sat all the way down to that the majority making an attempt repast as though she had been having luncheon on the Savoy. She insisted on eating the whole thing, including are living crickets, with a knife and fork. “in reality relatively excellent. I hate to disappoint you.”
woman C used to be a greater game about her meal than other contestants.
Blithely, she swallowed a pig’s eye ahead of expressing delicate dissatisfaction with a crocodile’s anus. “this is not something to recommend, but I’ve never appreciated arses.”
Ha! Take that, ye gawping top-time proles. Combining the gaunt, blonde hauteur of Queen Mary of Teck with the rhetorical incredulity of lady Bracknell, girl C is, in each experience, a category act. Born with a genital abnormality, which meant that she was raised as a boy earlier than having corrective surgical operation, she is no doubt the toughest thing in the jungle, together with the crocodiles.
It’s now not woman C who has bitten off more than she will bite, it might simply be I’m a celebrity. may she be the first titled contestant to turn into Queen of the Jungle? You read it right here first.
lady C’s unconcerned angle when consuming “Spaghetti Bollocknaise” proves she’s the hardest factor within the jungle
Telegraph Columnists: day-to-day opinion, editorials and columns from our megastar writers
(60)
