How to make a real work friend—and why it’s so important

Let’s face it: As you get older, it becomes harder to make friends. It’s a natural progression, whether you work in an office or are remote. As we get older and leave school (where we’re surrounded by others at a similar life stage), we often have more demands on our time and fewer opportunities to get to know to know those around us.

Maintaining friendships takes effort, but it’s well worth it, writes CEO and Fast Company contributor Corey Weiner. “Studies show that a friend can make you a better collaborator, a more creative and productive worker, and generally happier with your job.”

After all, most of us spend a huge number of our waking hours at work. Of course it’s more fun to have someone to collaborate—and occasionally commiserate—with. But how do you go about making genuine connections with coworkers or other like-minded individuals in your industry?

It might sound overly simplistic, but a big part of building friendships is just putting yourself out there. “If you’re not used to having a lot of friends any more, you may actually need to remind yourself to engage,” writes professor and longtime Work Life contributor Art Markman. “Set time on your calendar for a phone call or make plans to get a cup of coffee.”

Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move, says Keith Rollag, author of What to Do When You’re New. And if things go well during an initial coffee or activity, proactively follow up to build on that connection.

You’re not going to immediately bond with all of your coworkers, or every person you meet at a networking happy hour. But making continual attempts to find connection with your non-annoying colleagues will eventually pay off—just don’t start calling them your work husband or work wife.