I heard groans when Facebook announced its new Dating features

The groans were audible. I’m serious.

Facebook announced a slew of new features and products at its F8 developers conference in San Jose today. But when executives announced some new features to help people find dates on the platform, even this jaded audience of developers and journalists couldn’t stifle its displeasure.

Maybe because it’s a little too squishy, or because it sounded creepy, or because people just don’t want Facebook (with its terrible privacy record) to go there. But it did.

So with Facebook Dating, the social network adds connection opportunities to people you might see in events, or groups. If you’re interested in a friend of a friend you’ll be able to potentially connect.

More groans and sighs were heard when Facebook VP  Fidji Simo announced another related feature called Secret Crush. “People have told us that they believe there is an opportunity to explore potential romantic relationships within their own extended circle of friends,” Facebook said.

Using Secret Crush, you can select up to 9 of your Facebook friends who you want to stalk, I mean express interest in. If the object of your desire is also using Facebook Dating, they’ll get a notification that someone, like, digs them. If they have Secret Crushed you too, it’s a match and the masks come off. If they don’t, you stay on the DL and nobody can shame you for getting dissed.

It all feels a little creepy somehow, but who knows, maybe the kids will like it. And based on the attrition numbers, Facebook could use some help with the kids right now.

This story has been updated.