I teach Gen Z, millennial, and Gen X women. This is what we didn’t know we had in common

For all the talk about generational differences and divides in the workplace, I have seen a fundamental commonality across all ages—especially among Gen Z, millennial, Gen X, and even boomer women. This common denominator is the desire to get ahead and further their careers.

Although that ambition is nearly universal, however, there is a key difference: Younger women expect to get what they want, whereas boomer women, who were often among the first to break through in their fields, grasped the opportunities they could get and took them with gratitude.

With more education and experience, greater preparation and motivation—as well as more shock and less tolerance for inequities—the younger generations can help the workplace evolve for the better. This is a moment ripe for change, and the smartest companies will do more to advance women—particularly women of color—to attract and cultivate this valuable talent.

I base my observations about women across generations on the decades I spent in corporate America, then running a boutique consulting firm, and now in academia where I teach a popular MBA course called Personal Leadership Insights. I also run women’s leadership programs for full-time, part-time, and executive MBA students who span Gen X, millennials, and Gen Z. Add to that my experience coaching mid-career women, serving on three boards, and speaking to senior women’s groups about the path to the boardroom.

Here are three things I learned while teaching multiple generations of professional women—including the common denominators we didn’t know we had.

Well prepared and wanting more

Posts about lazy girl jobs may get likes on TikTok, but in the workplace the term is a gross misnomer. Women are preparing themselves through experience and education and are more ambitious than ever, as evidenced in the ninth annual Women in the Workplace study by LeanIn.org and McKinsey.

These findings include younger women, with nine out of 10 of those ages 30 and under wanting to be promoted to the next level, and three out of four aspiring to senior leadership one day.

The majority of young professional women I coach, counsel, and converse with want to lead, make an impact, and gain bigger opportunities than are currently coming their way. But they do want to work differently, especially having greater flexibility. The Women in the Workplace Study bears that out, with flexibility cited as a primary motivator and an antidote to burnout. To call this “lazy” is ridiculous; if anything, it is smarter and savvier, and companies should pay attention.

Battling barriers early and often

As the barriers to advancement emerge early and continue, women learn to face and handle them bravely and resiliently. But those obstacles can wear women down, especially when they come in the form of microaggressions—such as “role incredulity” over a woman being in charge or having authority. The inherent sexism and ageism (both younger and older) in these attitudes can be the sign of an outdated culture.

In my work around what holds women back, I explore the impact of what I call the “mirrored door”—barriers that turn women’s reflection inward, triggering self-doubt—and the “mirrored maze” of tacit rules and biased expectations. Put them together, and women can fall into a trap of constantly questioning themselves at each mirrored door in every turn of the mirrored maze. They continuously wonder “is it me?” without recognizing the fault lies in the workplace.

This can become a double whammy for young female professionals, who sometimes find themselves dismissed for their age and gender. “How do I get taken seriously?” one recent MBA graduate asked me, after finding herself dismissed as being the “junior person” because she’s female and looks young. The answer, I told her, is to disrupt the perception, such as by leading with her title or function: “I’m leading this project.” Get the endorsement of allies in the room: “This is Susan Smith, and she brings a wealth of digital expertise to our team.”

Choosing change

Fortunately, there is good news for women who are making significant investments in their careers and expecting a return. If they don’t see the outcomes they want, they choose change. Sometimes that means advocating for a better workplace culture, with more flexibility, feedback, financial fairness, and a future. If not, they’ll choose the exit door and join (or create) organizations that have inclusive environments in which women managers and leaders can grow, develop, and find more opportunity. This is the “Great Breakup”—and we’re seeing the signs and statistics: for every one woman promoted, two go elsewhere.

Consider “Michelle” whom I coached recently. She had worked very hard on her professional development and had been promised by her boss that she was the heir apparent for his job as CMO. Then suddenly, she experienced a change in her boss’s behavior and a reduction in feedback from him, leading her to assume that she had become the “heir apparently not.” Initially, her boss’s disengagement and lack of directiveness flustered her, triggering self-doubts. She broke that cycle by reminding herself of just how prepared she was to take on a C-suite role—and sought it elsewhere. Michelle joined another company with the understanding that, within six months, she would become the new CMO—and she did.

What leaders should do

Leaders have significant influence, particularly when they are willing to hone and elevate their people development and feedback skills. But it requires a fuller understanding of the problems lurking below the surface within their organizations.

Only by using data can companies unearth and address inequities (in promotion, pay, satisfaction, sense of belonging, etc.) by gender, level, and intersectionality (for example, for women of color and gay women).

Only by seeing where the barriers exist can leaders initiate positive culture changes, from rooting out microaggressions to clarifying expectations around where and how work can be done with greater flexibility.

Women, too, have a part to play. Rather than accept the status quo and tell themselves to “go along with it” when others fail to recognize their roles and contributions, women can make a stand. By owning their ambition and empowerment, women can keep the barriers external—so they can move around or through them.