look at These rich Idiots suffering On Mars

The Mars colony is without a doubt going to end with cannibalism.

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The Future. What time will it happen? no person is aware of. however it’ll happen soon, and prior to you even know it, the future will be the earlier. So let’s seem to be back from the distant future at the previous that’s going to have took place within the fairly-much less-far away future. The One % can have escaped Earth’s worsening local weather for the balmy -eighty stage F, ninety five% CO2 environment of Mars, if the rest of us are lucky. They do, in any case, literally suppose they are Luke Skywalker. those of us left behind can have been topic to the absurdly large Cybersecurity knowledge Sharing Act that Congress simply stuffed into an omnibus spending bill like a poisoned candy bar into a really giant bag of alternative poisoned candy bars. climate change right here on the earth will have created more violent extremists, however we will be able to as a minimum all have been happy that we don’t live on Mars. as a result of I imply, what kind of fool desires to survive Mars? That has to be the stupidest dream imaginable. George Hotz, having released the primary $1,000 DIY self-using automotive conversion package may have been the one billionaire to stay on this planet, because of now not being a blithering nincompoop. he’s going to also have hosted a wildly common tv exhibit known as have a look at These wealthy Idiots suffering On Mars, which became first an entire television channel after which the only factor any person watched on tv, unless finally every narcissistic knucklehead who blasted off for Mars starved to demise. Then they started making new seasons of house of playing cards once more, which i assume was ok.

Wow! the future is gonna be awful. the first critiques of the new big name Wars movie are out, and The Verge and vainness truthful each say: “it good,” as if any overview was going to change whether you’d see it. Slack is a platform now: Splatform. Yahoo had a vacation celebration that was so lavish they rented a are living Marissa Mayer just for the photobooth. Tarin Towers offered a gun in California. seems, it’s no longer very troublesome! And remember that Left Shark? That was this 12 months, so I could have been unsuitable above, once I asserted that the future would ever happen.

Ugh, there used to be some other Republican debate. The noncontenders mentioned Reince Pubis and 4 dicks, but the principle news is that Donald Trump become the institution candidate regardless of (because of?) his not announcing the rest that used to be authentic. Jeb‽ referred to as him the Chaos Candidate, but even that backfired as a result of come on, that sounds lovely cool. This would possibly as well be the duvet of Trump’s first rap document:


V$VP DONVLD, DROPS NOV 2016

take into account that, that you would be able to’t spell “triumph” without Trump!1

Intern José couldn’t make it as of late so joining us as an alternative is his thinly disguised alter ego DJ Chad.

these days’S INTERN TAB, by way of JOSÉ DÍAZ ROHENA

this is KTaBS FM, cominatcha ¡en vivo! from Phinney Ridge, Washington. Chad right here, I’ll be engaged on my night time moves all evening, so just honk if you’re lonely, all proper? Radio died for me when the native “all songs of the ‘60s and ‘70s” station changed formats to “basic Hits” (i.e.: experience, essentially) after which to Christian latest. I simply subscribed to Spotify for the reason that simplest factor I ever discovered on KEXP was “Sister Jack” and by means of then it was once far too late to leverage Spoon for cred. i am too lazy to prepare my mostly illegally downloaded track library—it lives on an external HD so my pc gets at a loss for words.2, three I’m actually sitting with pricey headphones on, no longer taking note of any tune. i can listen to just about anything i need—however what do I need to take heed to?

Now, a word from our sponsors.

Poet and video artist Leena Joshi simply put up new work on Vimeo, which I’m going to look at on repeat except I figure one thing out. Forbes is packaging their leadership seminar clickbait as if it had been a image guide. Disclaimer—I best linked the Forbes article as a reference; I best clicked the Forbes article for lols. Carly Fiorina performs with canine, snacks on Milk Bone, and claimed that President Obama has eaten dog? Of all of the issues this Tabs internship would entail, I by no means idea it will embrace searching for “has Obama eaten a canine.” If you determine what the hell is occurring here please get involved. i think the purpose is to humanize her, but all I obtained out of it used to be that she does indeed have a Cruella de Vil vibe. maybe she saw that “drunk girls Get stunned With puppies” factor and idea, “whats up me too!”

Mahalo y’all,
~ya boy Chad~

you know who’d like to consume a canine? The final man alive on Mars, Peter Thiel. but all he had to consume was the freeze-dried remains of Elon Musk. looking back, cremating Bezos used to be quick-sighted.

Oh My God: “an unbelievable Story of Rape” is impeccably pronounced and written, and fully devastating.

All i would like For Christmas: is Mariah Carey’s “All i would like for Christmas” converted to MIDI and then again to MP3. [more via Andy Baio]

lately’s song: Bomb The music industry!, “Wednesday night time Drinkball“

~perhaps I could do this right for once, get my ducks in a row and simply stop talking tabs or whatever they say.~

The week is half of over, the yr is nearly done, and statistically, the good previous days are probably behind us. this is where I would love to claim one thing encouraging but… nope. due to quick company and subscribe here prior to it’s too late for us all.

  1. Or strumpet. Or ultrasimple, superparasitism, immunoelectrophoretic, subprimate, spectrofluorometer or erumpent, for what it’s value.  ↩

  2. Rusty, is my honorary white privilege sufficient for me to get away with admitting that?  ↩

  3. Um sorry, no, honorary white privilege is like the keys to the town. It’s simply to make you are feeling excellent. for those who try to in truth use it they’ll arrest you as a burglar. –RF ↩

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