Poo-Pourri celebrates women’s hilarious poop stories to explain why gender inequality stinks

Pinch a loaf. Drop a deuce. Lay cable. Grow a tail. Have a grumpy. Take a smash. Drop the kids off at the pool. See a man about a horse.

However you talk about the physical act of defecation, chances are if you’re talking regularly about it at all, you’re a dude. The pop cultural realm of the poop joke has historically been told from the male perspective.

This is obviously unfair.

Poo-Pourri, the scent-stealing toilet deodorizer, knows this–and with its latest campaign called #GirlsDoPoop–set out to prove that women have just as many insanely funny, gross, and entertaining poop stories as the guys. In fact, by acknowledging poop equality, perhaps men can see that women aren’t just objects of desire, but three-dimensional, full-fledged human beings . . . who may, on occasion, shit themselves in an elevator.

“It’s really an equality issue,” says Poo-Pourri founder and CEO Suzy Batiz. “Men talk about poop all the time, and good for them. But women don’t feel like we can do that for whatever reason. So we felt inspired by that, and the result was this campaign.”

The campaign features a spoken-word anthem–basically Al Pacino’s locker room speech in Any Given Sunday but for BM–and six individual women’s rectal revelations. Among them is Brittany, who couldn’t quite get up the stairs and into her apartment on time. There’s Kelley, who found the perfect secluded washroom at work, only to underestimate the force of that second burrito. And Maryann, whose first overnight visit to her boyfriend’s parents’ house would make Spud from Trainspotting proud.

To find the stories, Batiz and her team held an open casting call in New York, Dallas, Los Angeles, and Chicago, and got scatological stories from more than 400 women. Thing is, a lot of the time, shit got a little too real. “We found there were a lot more great stories than storytellers,” says Batiz. “Some of the stories got really gross, really fast.”

So the brand ended up casting stand-up comedians to tell a selection of stories. “Not all poop stories are funny or created equal,” says Batiz. “Our brand’s been built with humor, so when we were looking at these auditions we knew we had to go more for the funny stories. What the standups could do was really focus on the arc of a story, the buildup, but they were all true.”

We will never be truly equal until we can look each other in the eyes with trust and understanding–and tell our absolutely craziest poop story.