The APA’s teen social media handbook seems to think parents are way cooler than they are

Teens need more guidance before they venture into the rocky and commanding waters of social media, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). That’s why the organization just issued some new recommendations urging parents to train their teens on appropriate social media use.

The newly released set of guidelines, which was created by an APA advisory panel, include 10 detailed points, with much of the advice bordering on common sense practices. The recommendations have to do with limiting screen time, “influencing” the kinds of platforms teens use, limiting exposure to cyber-hate, and the implementation of “social media literacy training.” That last point puts more pressure on parents today to be the ones to not only regulate their teens’ social media use, but also to train them to use the platforms appropriately.

However, if you ask most parents of teens how, exactly, to do that, they likely wouldn’t know where to start.

It’s an important issue. Fifty percent of kids have social media by age 12, regardless of most networks having age restrictions set at 13. Social media use among teens is higher than ever, and new research shows social media use is problematic for kids in a variety of ways. For example, it negatively impacts body image. So, there’s a lot at stake.

But most adults don’t understand how to use platforms aimed at younger users, like TikTok and Snapchat. And trying to have “influence” over which platforms teens use reads more like a handbook on how to turn your kids off to certain apps. Because, you know, if you tell teens what to do, they’ll likely do the opposite.

A tough task

That’s why, for some experts, the recommendations are nice in theory, but fall short of being helpful or realistic in terms of making an impact. Lori Day has a background as an educational psychologist and has worked with kids for over 35 years. She now coaches parents through complicated modern issues, like social media. And according to Day, the new guidelines put even more pressure on parents to be the experts in this domain.

“Parents are already very burdened,” she told Fast Company in an email. “And this particular tech burden is unrealistic because kids are, and always will be, a step ahead of parents when it comes to stealthy internet use and the adoption of new social media platforms.”

Day also points out that this is a socioeconomic issue, given that how much time parents can spend schooling their kids on social media depends largely on class. That’s one reason why she feels media literacy should be taught in schools, rather than fall collectively to families who don’t all have the same time and resources.

Either way, she feels parents are being asked to shoulder something that perhaps should be on social media companies to do a better job of managing. “The APA guidelines let social media companies off the hook and shift responsibility onto individual parents,” she says. “It’s a sleight of hand that results in parents failing kids rather than corporations failing kids.”

Dr. Thema Bryant, president of the APA says the new guidelines are meant to “empower” parents. “By engaging in dialogue with their children as they teach them social literacy, parents can learn with their kids about the platforms they are using,” she told Fast Company by email. “That being said, parents do bear some responsibility to educate themselves about social media—many may already be using it themselves. In a sense, this is akin to helping your kids with their homework.”

At the same time, the average parent is far from an expert in the new and ever-evolving world of social media. It might be better to rely on the common sense approaches we already knew, because, well, at least those feel manageable. Setting time limits and boundaries around social media are healthy practices that parents should always keep in mind.

The truth is, we can’t possibly understand the inner workings of every app to which kids take a liking. And, if we did, well, kids probably wouldn’t want to use them anymore, anyway.