These are the 5 most common negative thoughts holding you back

Positive thinking offers a variety of benefits. Not only can it improve your health and job satisfaction, it can make you feel happier and less stressed. So, why is it hard to keep negative thoughts from entering and even filling your mind?

“People are looking outside of themselves more than ever,” says Jon Gordon, author of The One Truth: Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, Heal Your Soul. “It accelerated during the pandemic, as people were tuning into the news every day and being filled with fear. Fear and negative thoughts divide.”

While the brain often defaults to negative as an ancient survival mechanism when everyday life consisted of real threats, Gordon says that doesn’t explain the negative thoughts you have with regard to your identity.

“The battle of positive and negative [thoughts] for your identity and who you’re meant to be is not evolutionary, it’s spiritual,” he says. “Thoughts in general are spiritual and they exist in consciousness. The brain is the hardware where the activation happens. We fire synapses that bring the thought to life, allowing us to experience the thought, but it exists at an energetic form first.”

To overcome negative thoughts, you need to understand them, and Gordon says they come in the form of five Ds:

1. Doubt

This is where you start to think that you might fail. You doubt your ability and worry that you’ll embarrass yourself and your family. Questioning yourself makes you lose confidence, and you feel weak and powerless. Doubt can grow into uncertainty, fear, and insecurity.

2. Distortion

Once you doubt your ability and start telling yourself you’re not good enough, your brain will distort your view, says Gordon. “Distortions are negative thoughts and lies that you tell about yourself and your future that just aren’t true,” he says. “Too often we believe the lies and then reinforce them, feeling guilt and shame for the negative thoughts that are in our head.”

3. Discouragement

Doubt and distortions often lead to discouragement when you want to give up. Discouragement overpowers your mind, seeps into your soul, and causes pessimism, apathy, and hopelessness, says Gordon.

“We believe the doubt and distortion,” he says. “We believe that we can’t win, won’t win, and don’t deserve to win.”

4. Distraction

Distraction is anything that’s keeping you from what matters most and from being your best, such as spending too much time on social media. “You’ll envy someone else’s mission and forget your own,” says Gordon. “You’re not doing your work because you’ve been distracted. We’ve all been there.”

5. Division

The previous four Ds lead the fifth, which is division. This is where your thoughts separate and divide you from others and from reality.

“A lot of people go through life this way,” says Gordon. “When you feel divided, you experience more negative thoughts, and it becomes a cycle.”

Tackling the “5 Ds”

Just like every hero has to overcome a villain, you have to overcome your negative thoughts that are trying to keep you from your goals, says Gordon.

“Ultimately, you need to win the battle of your mind,” he says. “Once someone understands that their negative thoughts are not coming from them initially, they can stop beating themselves up, feeling like they’re broken or that there’s something’s wrong with them. They realize, ‘I don’t have the power of the first thought, but I have the power of the second thought. I can respond and speak truth to the lie with something positive instead of negative.”

To get rid of these five Ds, Gordon says you need to recognize them as thoughts and not truths and avoid giving them attention.

“The brain has an antenna, and the key is to tune into the positive, not the negative,” he says. “Think about how you tune the dial to a radio station in your car, for instance. Stations and messages are being broadcasted all the time, but you only hear the one you tune your dial into. It’s the same way with your brain.”

Gordon uses the acronym, TUNE, which stands for Trust in truth, Unite with love, Neutralize the negativity, and Evaluate your thinking.

“Love is more powerful than fear,” he says. “Fear divides while love unites. The greatest transformational leaders in the world have always been about love, not fear.”

If you love what you’re doing, you’re going to go out every day and love the process. You’re going to trust that you’ll do your best. “When fear starts to dissipate, you operate at a higher level,” says Gordon.

If discouragement comes in, neutralize the negativity with encouragement. And when distraction sets in, focus on what matters most. “Elevate your thinking with purpose,” says Gordon. “My purpose has to be greater than my distractions and challenges.”

Changing the station in your brain takes a while, but Gordon encourages people to keep practicing. “You wouldn’t expect to be a strong weight lifter without lifting for a while,” he explains. “You’ve got to build your muscle. It’s the same thing with tuning into the right brain frequency. It takes time. . . . It’s about telling yourself, ‘This is challenging, but I can maintain optimism and belief in order to create a better reality.’”